Someday

Okay, I've officially been back for almost 2 weeks. and it stinks.
I miss Israel.
I miss feeling unique and respected and hip.
I miss the genuine kindness that the Middle East has to offer through its unique community.
And despite the fact that it is nearly a billion degrees here, I miss the hot clean sun of Jerusalem.
More than anything else I just want to go and swim in the Sea of Galilee, to refresh myself in that blissful lake. Sometimes when I roll down my car windows, I can almost hear the waves sloshing against the shore.

Well, life here is back in full swing. and somewhere between my current jobs and preparing for my future one, I feel trapped in isolated mediocrity. It's not that I don't like either of them, or want to explore the opportunities, it's just that...nothing I do right now helps anyone else.
In the grand scheme of life, my impact right now is nil.
People in other countries are dying of malnutrition while being stuck in places they can't leave with their houses being torn down without warning. And I help fix computers for people who can afford them, as well as safety and nutrition. And then on the weekends I cater to the children of the elite, helping celebrate growing up in luxury, where all little girls are princesses.
It's not that computers are bad, nor is having royal ideals.
What if those people used their influence, technology, and earnings to help someone other than themselves?

What if everyone in privilege took just one day a year to help one person in poverty, no strings attached?

Well, then maybe I'd be content.
I'd be happy to watch "Someday" by Rob Thomas and know that a world like that can exist.


And instead of working towards that, I am busy being tested (in every way possible) to see if I will be a proper DCFS employee. Then, maybe, I can start helping people, but being controlled by the state can never make it easy for me to make the impact I want. I'll be working for the system that I am consistently frustrated at for oppressing people. But God has power beyond them, so hopefully I can work for Him and not them...

I guess we'll see, and maybe, someday, we'll figure all this out...